My Sweet Boy,
Today, I was watching a documentary on Mr. Rogers. Sadly, you will never have the pleasure of welcoming Mr. Rogers into your living room as I did every morning. Right now, you are obsessed with Elmo. And, while I do love the educational aspect of Sesame Street and enjoy watching it with you, Elmo can never compare to Mr. Rogers.
Mr. Rogers was a soft-spoken, gentle man, who welcomed you into his neighborhood every day. He was an ordained minister and devout Christian, but never once spoke of it on his television show...he didn't need to. He lived by the words of St. Francis of Assisi, who said, "Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words."
There was one thing that Mr. Rogers always said at the end of every show that really struck a chord with me today. He would always tell the kids, "I love you...just the way you are."
It seems easy enough to tell someone, yet, in reality, a very hard thing to do. I don't think I've ever felt that true feeling of unconditional love with anyone until I first had you. We can tell someone we love them just as they are, and yet we live in a society that is constantly trying to change/better oneself. Even the church and Christians are taught to "love the sinner, but hate the sin." Yet, something I learned a long time ago was when you put a qualifier (like "but") into a sentence, you negate everything that came before it.
There are no qualifiers or stipulations with me. I want you to know that I truly do love you just the way you are.
When you were 2 months old and cried nonstop, I still loved you just the way you were. Now that you're entering into your terrible-twos and can be quite the little mischievous terror, I love every little part of you (even your temper tantrums). And when you grow up, and are bound to make mistakes, there will be times that I'll be disappointed. There will be times that I want better for you. There will be times that you completely throw me for a loop with your choices in life. And yet, I will always love you just as you are - not for the sweet, darling boy that you once used to be; or for the man that one day I hope you'll turn out to be...but, in the moment, always just as you are.
My hope is that you will always know this, even if we don't see eye-to-eye in the future. But, more importantly, I hope that you can live this way and treat everyone around you in the same manner. You are going to meet so many different people in life...love them, accept them, just as they are. You never know what you can learn from someone else. And, in return, you'll never know how much you can impact someone else, simply by showing them love.
My hope is that I will raise you to be a kind, gentle, and compassionate man. Yet, even if that doesn't happen, I will still love you...just the way you are.
All my love,
Mom
Sunday, December 8, 2013
Monday, August 12, 2013
Changes
My Little Man,
I can't believe how long it's been since the last time I wrote you. It seems like just yesterday we were celebrating your first birthday, and now you're almost 17 months old. In 5 months you've grown leaps and bounds - not just physically, but mentally as well. It's unbelievable that I can actually have conversations with you now; where I know what you're trying to tell me, and you understand what I'm saying to you. It's funny, because a lot of what you say is still in your own unique language that only Daddy and I seem to understand. But I kind of like it that way - it's our own special bond.
Our bond has only grown more close over this summer, as I've been able to spend each and every day with you. When you're older, there's going to be a point when you look back on your childhood and think "those were the good old days." As a parent, however, it's a sobering thought to relive the memories of your own childhood, by watching your child experience everything for the first time, and realize that you're currently living in those "good old days." It's a heartwarming feeling and, at the same time, scary, because you just want to grasp at it so tightly and never let go. Before having children, I was always looking forward to the future. Now, I've never wanted to simply live in the moment as much as I can.
Getting to spend every day with you this summer, and watch you turn into the little man you've become, has been an absolute treat. It makes me so sad that I have to go back to work tomorrow and I won't have the same precious moments with you. We always refer to new babies as being these little miracles...but it doesn't stop there. Every day that I get to wake up and spend with you is a miracle.
And adding on to the constant miracles of our family, we have even more changes headed our way. In just a few short months, you'll become a big brother and have a little sister. It's exciting and daunting at the same time. I'm so excited for you to have a sister. I'm happy that you'll be so close in age and hope that you two will grow up to be best of friends and each other confidants. But looking back to when you were first born, I still don't really know how I did it. It was all trial and error, and a lot of mistakes along the way. It was rough. I can't imagine trying to take care of a new baby, while keeping my eye on your mischievous self. I'm sure there's going to be more mistakes, more tears, and more mishaps along the way...but we'll make it through!
As things continue to change around us, and our family continues to grow, I want you to be absolutely sure of one thing: My love for your will always be constant and unwavering. That will never change.
I love you so much and I love the little boy you're growing up to become.
Love,
Your (growing) Mommy
I can't believe how long it's been since the last time I wrote you. It seems like just yesterday we were celebrating your first birthday, and now you're almost 17 months old. In 5 months you've grown leaps and bounds - not just physically, but mentally as well. It's unbelievable that I can actually have conversations with you now; where I know what you're trying to tell me, and you understand what I'm saying to you. It's funny, because a lot of what you say is still in your own unique language that only Daddy and I seem to understand. But I kind of like it that way - it's our own special bond.
Our bond has only grown more close over this summer, as I've been able to spend each and every day with you. When you're older, there's going to be a point when you look back on your childhood and think "those were the good old days." As a parent, however, it's a sobering thought to relive the memories of your own childhood, by watching your child experience everything for the first time, and realize that you're currently living in those "good old days." It's a heartwarming feeling and, at the same time, scary, because you just want to grasp at it so tightly and never let go. Before having children, I was always looking forward to the future. Now, I've never wanted to simply live in the moment as much as I can.
Getting to spend every day with you this summer, and watch you turn into the little man you've become, has been an absolute treat. It makes me so sad that I have to go back to work tomorrow and I won't have the same precious moments with you. We always refer to new babies as being these little miracles...but it doesn't stop there. Every day that I get to wake up and spend with you is a miracle.
And adding on to the constant miracles of our family, we have even more changes headed our way. In just a few short months, you'll become a big brother and have a little sister. It's exciting and daunting at the same time. I'm so excited for you to have a sister. I'm happy that you'll be so close in age and hope that you two will grow up to be best of friends and each other confidants. But looking back to when you were first born, I still don't really know how I did it. It was all trial and error, and a lot of mistakes along the way. It was rough. I can't imagine trying to take care of a new baby, while keeping my eye on your mischievous self. I'm sure there's going to be more mistakes, more tears, and more mishaps along the way...but we'll make it through!
As things continue to change around us, and our family continues to grow, I want you to be absolutely sure of one thing: My love for your will always be constant and unwavering. That will never change.
I love you so much and I love the little boy you're growing up to become.
Love,
Your (growing) Mommy
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Happy Birthday, Baby!
My Big Boy,
Today is your first birthday and it's hard to believe that it's been a whole year since I first held you in my arms. Most of the time I just look at you and think, "Where did they time go?"
Wasn't it just yesterday that I was sleep-deprived and begging for you to stop crying in the middle of the night?
Was it really that long ago that I saw your first smile...you crawling for the first time...taking your first steps?
As much as I've savored every second of your growth this year, can we just slow it down a bit? Is there a way to slow down the days so that I feel like I've really had a chance to appreciate everything that's amazing about you? I look back at photographs from this past year and sometimes it's hard to remember how tiny you were or how different you looked.
Sometimes it's hard to believe how quickly you've changed in just one year, but then I realize that I've also been changing at a rapid pace. The transformation to being a mom doesn't just end in the delivery room. Those hours of pain, followed by immediately relief and overwhelming love are just the first of many "labor pains." I've learned that becoming a mom is a process, filled with constant worry, heartache, second-guessing, frustration, and exhaustion. But it's also a constant reward. Seeing your smile, hearing you say "mama," holding you close in my arms, receiving your hugs and kisses, makes my heart grow a little bigger every day.
In just one short year you've managed to dig yourself so deeply into my heart, that I can't even imagine what life could possibly be like without you.
Since you were born on St. Patty's Day, I like to refer to you as my "lucky little charm." But you are so much more than that. You are a constant miracle of life. You are my biggest blessing. My greatest love.
Happy Birthday, little man. You've accomplished so much in the past 365 days that I can't wait to see what's to come the following year! But let's remember to take it slow, okay?
Love,
Your Ever-Aging Mommy.
Today is your first birthday and it's hard to believe that it's been a whole year since I first held you in my arms. Most of the time I just look at you and think, "Where did they time go?"
Wasn't it just yesterday that I was sleep-deprived and begging for you to stop crying in the middle of the night?
Was it really that long ago that I saw your first smile...you crawling for the first time...taking your first steps?
As much as I've savored every second of your growth this year, can we just slow it down a bit? Is there a way to slow down the days so that I feel like I've really had a chance to appreciate everything that's amazing about you? I look back at photographs from this past year and sometimes it's hard to remember how tiny you were or how different you looked.
Sometimes it's hard to believe how quickly you've changed in just one year, but then I realize that I've also been changing at a rapid pace. The transformation to being a mom doesn't just end in the delivery room. Those hours of pain, followed by immediately relief and overwhelming love are just the first of many "labor pains." I've learned that becoming a mom is a process, filled with constant worry, heartache, second-guessing, frustration, and exhaustion. But it's also a constant reward. Seeing your smile, hearing you say "mama," holding you close in my arms, receiving your hugs and kisses, makes my heart grow a little bigger every day.
In just one short year you've managed to dig yourself so deeply into my heart, that I can't even imagine what life could possibly be like without you.
Since you were born on St. Patty's Day, I like to refer to you as my "lucky little charm." But you are so much more than that. You are a constant miracle of life. You are my biggest blessing. My greatest love.
Happy Birthday, little man. You've accomplished so much in the past 365 days that I can't wait to see what's to come the following year! But let's remember to take it slow, okay?
Love,
Your Ever-Aging Mommy.
Friday, March 1, 2013
Sick and Tired
My sick little buddy,
It's been quite some time since I've written you a letter. It's not for a lack of activity, because you've grown up so quickly these past few months. You're coming up to your first birthday and have hit so many milestones; like walking by yourself and (finally!) getting your first tooth! No, the reason Mommy hasn't written in so long is simply because I'm enjoying every minute I get to spend with you. I still get to reflect on each day with you and cherish the special moments we share together in my heart, but life has become quite the juggling act with even the simplest of daily chores.
Today, I have a bit more time on my hands, as I've stayed home from work to take care of you. You have a stomach bug and, while this isn't your first time beings sick, this could, quite possibly, be the worst form of sickness for such a small little boy. I know how horrible it feels when my own stomach is upset and I'm throwing up. I can't imagine how you must feel. And what makes it worse is that I have no way of being able to comfort you and take the pain away. I wish so badly that I could simply take all your sickness and just put it on me. I would gladly have it twice as bad, if it meant that you could feel better.
When you cry, I want to cry too, because I'm absolutely powerless in this situation. And that's a hard thing for a mother to realize. My role as mother is to be your comfort, to love you and protect you from everything. But the sad truth is that there are some things I simply will not be able to protect you from. Hardships will come your way...and you'll simply have to overcome them. I don't have some grand explanation for you, or a reasoning for whether it's fair or it. It's simply how it is. That's life.
So while today may seem pretty bleak for both of us, you will be back to your old self soon enough. (Hopefully by tomorrow.) But, in the mean time, while you're sick and I'm tired, know that I'm not going anywhere. I may not be able to take away all your pain...but my shoulder will always be here for you to rest your head, and my kisses will always be ready to dry your tears. Hopefully, that brings some bit of comfort to this dark situation.
Feel better soon.
Love,
Mommy
It's been quite some time since I've written you a letter. It's not for a lack of activity, because you've grown up so quickly these past few months. You're coming up to your first birthday and have hit so many milestones; like walking by yourself and (finally!) getting your first tooth! No, the reason Mommy hasn't written in so long is simply because I'm enjoying every minute I get to spend with you. I still get to reflect on each day with you and cherish the special moments we share together in my heart, but life has become quite the juggling act with even the simplest of daily chores.
Today, I have a bit more time on my hands, as I've stayed home from work to take care of you. You have a stomach bug and, while this isn't your first time beings sick, this could, quite possibly, be the worst form of sickness for such a small little boy. I know how horrible it feels when my own stomach is upset and I'm throwing up. I can't imagine how you must feel. And what makes it worse is that I have no way of being able to comfort you and take the pain away. I wish so badly that I could simply take all your sickness and just put it on me. I would gladly have it twice as bad, if it meant that you could feel better.
When you cry, I want to cry too, because I'm absolutely powerless in this situation. And that's a hard thing for a mother to realize. My role as mother is to be your comfort, to love you and protect you from everything. But the sad truth is that there are some things I simply will not be able to protect you from. Hardships will come your way...and you'll simply have to overcome them. I don't have some grand explanation for you, or a reasoning for whether it's fair or it. It's simply how it is. That's life.
So while today may seem pretty bleak for both of us, you will be back to your old self soon enough. (Hopefully by tomorrow.) But, in the mean time, while you're sick and I'm tired, know that I'm not going anywhere. I may not be able to take away all your pain...but my shoulder will always be here for you to rest your head, and my kisses will always be ready to dry your tears. Hopefully, that brings some bit of comfort to this dark situation.
Feel better soon.
Love,
Mommy
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