My Sweet Boy,
Today, I was watching a documentary on Mr. Rogers. Sadly, you will never have the pleasure of welcoming Mr. Rogers into your living room as I did every morning. Right now, you are obsessed with Elmo. And, while I do love the educational aspect of Sesame Street and enjoy watching it with you, Elmo can never compare to Mr. Rogers.
Mr. Rogers was a soft-spoken, gentle man, who welcomed you into his neighborhood every day. He was an ordained minister and devout Christian, but never once spoke of it on his television show...he didn't need to. He lived by the words of St. Francis of Assisi, who said, "Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words."
There was one thing that Mr. Rogers always said at the end of every show that really struck a chord with me today. He would always tell the kids, "I love you...just the way you are."
It seems easy enough to tell someone, yet, in reality, a very hard thing to do. I don't think I've ever felt that true feeling of unconditional love with anyone until I first had you. We can tell someone we love them just as they are, and yet we live in a society that is constantly trying to change/better oneself. Even the church and Christians are taught to "love the sinner, but hate the sin." Yet, something I learned a long time ago was when you put a qualifier (like "but") into a sentence, you negate everything that came before it.
There are no qualifiers or stipulations with me. I want you to know that I truly do love you just the way you are.
When you were 2 months old and cried nonstop, I still loved you just the way you were. Now that you're entering into your terrible-twos and can be quite the little mischievous terror, I love every little part of you (even your temper tantrums). And when you grow up, and are bound to make mistakes, there will be times that I'll be disappointed. There will be times that I want better for you. There will be times that you completely throw me for a loop with your choices in life. And yet, I will always love you just as you are - not for the sweet, darling boy that you once used to be; or for the man that one day I hope you'll turn out to be...but, in the moment, always just as you are.
My hope is that you will always know this, even if we don't see eye-to-eye in the future. But, more importantly, I hope that you can live this way and treat everyone around you in the same manner. You are going to meet so many different people in life...love them, accept them, just as they are. You never know what you can learn from someone else. And, in return, you'll never know how much you can impact someone else, simply by showing them love.
My hope is that I will raise you to be a kind, gentle, and compassionate man. Yet, even if that doesn't happen, I will still love you...just the way you are.
All my love,
Mom
Sunday, December 8, 2013
Monday, August 12, 2013
Changes
My Little Man,
I can't believe how long it's been since the last time I wrote you. It seems like just yesterday we were celebrating your first birthday, and now you're almost 17 months old. In 5 months you've grown leaps and bounds - not just physically, but mentally as well. It's unbelievable that I can actually have conversations with you now; where I know what you're trying to tell me, and you understand what I'm saying to you. It's funny, because a lot of what you say is still in your own unique language that only Daddy and I seem to understand. But I kind of like it that way - it's our own special bond.
Our bond has only grown more close over this summer, as I've been able to spend each and every day with you. When you're older, there's going to be a point when you look back on your childhood and think "those were the good old days." As a parent, however, it's a sobering thought to relive the memories of your own childhood, by watching your child experience everything for the first time, and realize that you're currently living in those "good old days." It's a heartwarming feeling and, at the same time, scary, because you just want to grasp at it so tightly and never let go. Before having children, I was always looking forward to the future. Now, I've never wanted to simply live in the moment as much as I can.
Getting to spend every day with you this summer, and watch you turn into the little man you've become, has been an absolute treat. It makes me so sad that I have to go back to work tomorrow and I won't have the same precious moments with you. We always refer to new babies as being these little miracles...but it doesn't stop there. Every day that I get to wake up and spend with you is a miracle.
And adding on to the constant miracles of our family, we have even more changes headed our way. In just a few short months, you'll become a big brother and have a little sister. It's exciting and daunting at the same time. I'm so excited for you to have a sister. I'm happy that you'll be so close in age and hope that you two will grow up to be best of friends and each other confidants. But looking back to when you were first born, I still don't really know how I did it. It was all trial and error, and a lot of mistakes along the way. It was rough. I can't imagine trying to take care of a new baby, while keeping my eye on your mischievous self. I'm sure there's going to be more mistakes, more tears, and more mishaps along the way...but we'll make it through!
As things continue to change around us, and our family continues to grow, I want you to be absolutely sure of one thing: My love for your will always be constant and unwavering. That will never change.
I love you so much and I love the little boy you're growing up to become.
Love,
Your (growing) Mommy
I can't believe how long it's been since the last time I wrote you. It seems like just yesterday we were celebrating your first birthday, and now you're almost 17 months old. In 5 months you've grown leaps and bounds - not just physically, but mentally as well. It's unbelievable that I can actually have conversations with you now; where I know what you're trying to tell me, and you understand what I'm saying to you. It's funny, because a lot of what you say is still in your own unique language that only Daddy and I seem to understand. But I kind of like it that way - it's our own special bond.
Our bond has only grown more close over this summer, as I've been able to spend each and every day with you. When you're older, there's going to be a point when you look back on your childhood and think "those were the good old days." As a parent, however, it's a sobering thought to relive the memories of your own childhood, by watching your child experience everything for the first time, and realize that you're currently living in those "good old days." It's a heartwarming feeling and, at the same time, scary, because you just want to grasp at it so tightly and never let go. Before having children, I was always looking forward to the future. Now, I've never wanted to simply live in the moment as much as I can.
Getting to spend every day with you this summer, and watch you turn into the little man you've become, has been an absolute treat. It makes me so sad that I have to go back to work tomorrow and I won't have the same precious moments with you. We always refer to new babies as being these little miracles...but it doesn't stop there. Every day that I get to wake up and spend with you is a miracle.
And adding on to the constant miracles of our family, we have even more changes headed our way. In just a few short months, you'll become a big brother and have a little sister. It's exciting and daunting at the same time. I'm so excited for you to have a sister. I'm happy that you'll be so close in age and hope that you two will grow up to be best of friends and each other confidants. But looking back to when you were first born, I still don't really know how I did it. It was all trial and error, and a lot of mistakes along the way. It was rough. I can't imagine trying to take care of a new baby, while keeping my eye on your mischievous self. I'm sure there's going to be more mistakes, more tears, and more mishaps along the way...but we'll make it through!
As things continue to change around us, and our family continues to grow, I want you to be absolutely sure of one thing: My love for your will always be constant and unwavering. That will never change.
I love you so much and I love the little boy you're growing up to become.
Love,
Your (growing) Mommy
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Happy Birthday, Baby!
My Big Boy,
Today is your first birthday and it's hard to believe that it's been a whole year since I first held you in my arms. Most of the time I just look at you and think, "Where did they time go?"
Wasn't it just yesterday that I was sleep-deprived and begging for you to stop crying in the middle of the night?
Was it really that long ago that I saw your first smile...you crawling for the first time...taking your first steps?
As much as I've savored every second of your growth this year, can we just slow it down a bit? Is there a way to slow down the days so that I feel like I've really had a chance to appreciate everything that's amazing about you? I look back at photographs from this past year and sometimes it's hard to remember how tiny you were or how different you looked.
Sometimes it's hard to believe how quickly you've changed in just one year, but then I realize that I've also been changing at a rapid pace. The transformation to being a mom doesn't just end in the delivery room. Those hours of pain, followed by immediately relief and overwhelming love are just the first of many "labor pains." I've learned that becoming a mom is a process, filled with constant worry, heartache, second-guessing, frustration, and exhaustion. But it's also a constant reward. Seeing your smile, hearing you say "mama," holding you close in my arms, receiving your hugs and kisses, makes my heart grow a little bigger every day.
In just one short year you've managed to dig yourself so deeply into my heart, that I can't even imagine what life could possibly be like without you.
Since you were born on St. Patty's Day, I like to refer to you as my "lucky little charm." But you are so much more than that. You are a constant miracle of life. You are my biggest blessing. My greatest love.
Happy Birthday, little man. You've accomplished so much in the past 365 days that I can't wait to see what's to come the following year! But let's remember to take it slow, okay?
Love,
Your Ever-Aging Mommy.
Today is your first birthday and it's hard to believe that it's been a whole year since I first held you in my arms. Most of the time I just look at you and think, "Where did they time go?"
Wasn't it just yesterday that I was sleep-deprived and begging for you to stop crying in the middle of the night?
Was it really that long ago that I saw your first smile...you crawling for the first time...taking your first steps?
As much as I've savored every second of your growth this year, can we just slow it down a bit? Is there a way to slow down the days so that I feel like I've really had a chance to appreciate everything that's amazing about you? I look back at photographs from this past year and sometimes it's hard to remember how tiny you were or how different you looked.
Sometimes it's hard to believe how quickly you've changed in just one year, but then I realize that I've also been changing at a rapid pace. The transformation to being a mom doesn't just end in the delivery room. Those hours of pain, followed by immediately relief and overwhelming love are just the first of many "labor pains." I've learned that becoming a mom is a process, filled with constant worry, heartache, second-guessing, frustration, and exhaustion. But it's also a constant reward. Seeing your smile, hearing you say "mama," holding you close in my arms, receiving your hugs and kisses, makes my heart grow a little bigger every day.
In just one short year you've managed to dig yourself so deeply into my heart, that I can't even imagine what life could possibly be like without you.
Since you were born on St. Patty's Day, I like to refer to you as my "lucky little charm." But you are so much more than that. You are a constant miracle of life. You are my biggest blessing. My greatest love.
Happy Birthday, little man. You've accomplished so much in the past 365 days that I can't wait to see what's to come the following year! But let's remember to take it slow, okay?
Love,
Your Ever-Aging Mommy.
Friday, March 1, 2013
Sick and Tired
My sick little buddy,
It's been quite some time since I've written you a letter. It's not for a lack of activity, because you've grown up so quickly these past few months. You're coming up to your first birthday and have hit so many milestones; like walking by yourself and (finally!) getting your first tooth! No, the reason Mommy hasn't written in so long is simply because I'm enjoying every minute I get to spend with you. I still get to reflect on each day with you and cherish the special moments we share together in my heart, but life has become quite the juggling act with even the simplest of daily chores.
Today, I have a bit more time on my hands, as I've stayed home from work to take care of you. You have a stomach bug and, while this isn't your first time beings sick, this could, quite possibly, be the worst form of sickness for such a small little boy. I know how horrible it feels when my own stomach is upset and I'm throwing up. I can't imagine how you must feel. And what makes it worse is that I have no way of being able to comfort you and take the pain away. I wish so badly that I could simply take all your sickness and just put it on me. I would gladly have it twice as bad, if it meant that you could feel better.
When you cry, I want to cry too, because I'm absolutely powerless in this situation. And that's a hard thing for a mother to realize. My role as mother is to be your comfort, to love you and protect you from everything. But the sad truth is that there are some things I simply will not be able to protect you from. Hardships will come your way...and you'll simply have to overcome them. I don't have some grand explanation for you, or a reasoning for whether it's fair or it. It's simply how it is. That's life.
So while today may seem pretty bleak for both of us, you will be back to your old self soon enough. (Hopefully by tomorrow.) But, in the mean time, while you're sick and I'm tired, know that I'm not going anywhere. I may not be able to take away all your pain...but my shoulder will always be here for you to rest your head, and my kisses will always be ready to dry your tears. Hopefully, that brings some bit of comfort to this dark situation.
Feel better soon.
Love,
Mommy
It's been quite some time since I've written you a letter. It's not for a lack of activity, because you've grown up so quickly these past few months. You're coming up to your first birthday and have hit so many milestones; like walking by yourself and (finally!) getting your first tooth! No, the reason Mommy hasn't written in so long is simply because I'm enjoying every minute I get to spend with you. I still get to reflect on each day with you and cherish the special moments we share together in my heart, but life has become quite the juggling act with even the simplest of daily chores.
Today, I have a bit more time on my hands, as I've stayed home from work to take care of you. You have a stomach bug and, while this isn't your first time beings sick, this could, quite possibly, be the worst form of sickness for such a small little boy. I know how horrible it feels when my own stomach is upset and I'm throwing up. I can't imagine how you must feel. And what makes it worse is that I have no way of being able to comfort you and take the pain away. I wish so badly that I could simply take all your sickness and just put it on me. I would gladly have it twice as bad, if it meant that you could feel better.
When you cry, I want to cry too, because I'm absolutely powerless in this situation. And that's a hard thing for a mother to realize. My role as mother is to be your comfort, to love you and protect you from everything. But the sad truth is that there are some things I simply will not be able to protect you from. Hardships will come your way...and you'll simply have to overcome them. I don't have some grand explanation for you, or a reasoning for whether it's fair or it. It's simply how it is. That's life.
So while today may seem pretty bleak for both of us, you will be back to your old self soon enough. (Hopefully by tomorrow.) But, in the mean time, while you're sick and I'm tired, know that I'm not going anywhere. I may not be able to take away all your pain...but my shoulder will always be here for you to rest your head, and my kisses will always be ready to dry your tears. Hopefully, that brings some bit of comfort to this dark situation.
Feel better soon.
Love,
Mommy
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Thanksgiving
My little love-bug,
Today is Thanksgiving. Time just keeps flying by, and now the holidays are upon us. October through December is my absolute favorite time of year. It's my favorite season and it's jam-packed with my three favorite holidays. It's a time to be together with family. And a time to celebrate traditions.
Growing up, I had so many Thanksgiving and Christmas traditions with my family. Last Christmas, when I was pregnant with you, I was so excited to pass down all those little moments that I treasured as a child to you. Your father also had his own different memories as well. Now that you're here, and we're sharing holidays with both our families, I've realized that some of Daddy and Mommy's traditions will be passed on; but we'll also be making our own new traditions, as our own new family.
I'm excited for all the new memories we'll be making throughout the years, but at the same time, I wish I could just simply freeze time and hold onto this moment in my heart forever. With each day that passes, I watch you grow, learn new things, and master new skills. You're trying so hard to crawl and, just in the past few days, you've already managed to pull yourself up to stand and try to walk. I'm filled with pride seeing every single one of your accomplishments. And yet, it's a constant bittersweet feeling, knowing that with each moment you grow, it's one day less that I have my darling, little baby boy to hold, rock, and snuggle. I cherish every single moment with you.
And so, it should be fairly obvious, that this Thanksgiving (and every Thanksgiving for the rest of my life) I am so thankful to be blessed with you. You are my greatest accomplishment and my greatest love. I can't freeze time. You'll grow up; you'll do tremendous things; and, undoubtedly you'll make mistakes. Yet, no matter what, you'll still always be my baby boy.
Love,
Your extremely-thankful mommy
Today is Thanksgiving. Time just keeps flying by, and now the holidays are upon us. October through December is my absolute favorite time of year. It's my favorite season and it's jam-packed with my three favorite holidays. It's a time to be together with family. And a time to celebrate traditions.
Growing up, I had so many Thanksgiving and Christmas traditions with my family. Last Christmas, when I was pregnant with you, I was so excited to pass down all those little moments that I treasured as a child to you. Your father also had his own different memories as well. Now that you're here, and we're sharing holidays with both our families, I've realized that some of Daddy and Mommy's traditions will be passed on; but we'll also be making our own new traditions, as our own new family.
I'm excited for all the new memories we'll be making throughout the years, but at the same time, I wish I could just simply freeze time and hold onto this moment in my heart forever. With each day that passes, I watch you grow, learn new things, and master new skills. You're trying so hard to crawl and, just in the past few days, you've already managed to pull yourself up to stand and try to walk. I'm filled with pride seeing every single one of your accomplishments. And yet, it's a constant bittersweet feeling, knowing that with each moment you grow, it's one day less that I have my darling, little baby boy to hold, rock, and snuggle. I cherish every single moment with you.
And so, it should be fairly obvious, that this Thanksgiving (and every Thanksgiving for the rest of my life) I am so thankful to be blessed with you. You are my greatest accomplishment and my greatest love. I can't freeze time. You'll grow up; you'll do tremendous things; and, undoubtedly you'll make mistakes. Yet, no matter what, you'll still always be my baby boy.
Love,
Your extremely-thankful mommy
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Working Mom Woes
My Growing Boy,
It's been two months since I last wrote you a letter, and, boy, are things changing! You are now 6 months old and getting so big! I love watching you grow and develop new skills! But, at the same time, I wish I could just keep you as this tiny, cuddly baby for a little while longer.
You're sitting up all by yourself now. You're eating solids (so far you're a fan of most vegetables and fruits - but you hate peas.) You love to sit and play with the wheels on different toys. You also love to stand in your Exosaucer. Daddy and I say that you're "going to work" when you're in it because you are so focused on all the different gadgets. Your focus is something I've noticed about you. You're an observer. In any new situation, you stare intently, quietly taking in all of your surroundings. Rarely do you just grab something new and play with it. You have to examine it first and figure out how it works. You think first and then you act. As you grow older, I hope this is a quality you continue to have.
Though you wouldn't know it, life around the house has been pretty hectic this past month. First off, Daddy tore his Achilles heal playing baseball; which means that Daddy can't walk. In a lot of ways, Mommy has had to take care of you by herself. Daddy tries to help as much as he can, but the only thing he can really do is hold you for a few minutes, while he sits in chair. Your Pappa Lou has also been helping us out so much. He comes a few days a week to take you to daycare and Daddy to work. While this hasn't been the most ideal situation, we're making it work.
I've also returned back to teaching, and this school year has been really tough for me. I absolutely hate being away from you so much. I'm miserable. I feel like I'm missing out on so many new experiences that you're having and I want to be a part of it all. Seeing your smiling face only 2 hours a day just doesn't seem fair to either of us. Before having you, I thought that I could be a supermom, who worked and took care of her kids equally. Now, I realize I don't want to be supermom. I just want to be a good mom to you. Doing things by yourself isn't some sort of accomplishment. I'm more proud of the fact that I have such a supportive family that I can lean on when I need them.
You've got an amazing family, Buddy, who will always be there for you. And even though it doesn't seem like I'm around as much anymore, know that there isn't one minute of the day that goes by that you're not in my heart and mind. And if you ever needed me, I'd be there for you in a second.
One way or another, I'll figure out this work-life balance. I'm certainly not the first working mom, nor will I be the last. But it still doesn't make being away from you any easier.
Love,
Your very tired Mommy.
It's been two months since I last wrote you a letter, and, boy, are things changing! You are now 6 months old and getting so big! I love watching you grow and develop new skills! But, at the same time, I wish I could just keep you as this tiny, cuddly baby for a little while longer.
You're sitting up all by yourself now. You're eating solids (so far you're a fan of most vegetables and fruits - but you hate peas.) You love to sit and play with the wheels on different toys. You also love to stand in your Exosaucer. Daddy and I say that you're "going to work" when you're in it because you are so focused on all the different gadgets. Your focus is something I've noticed about you. You're an observer. In any new situation, you stare intently, quietly taking in all of your surroundings. Rarely do you just grab something new and play with it. You have to examine it first and figure out how it works. You think first and then you act. As you grow older, I hope this is a quality you continue to have.
Though you wouldn't know it, life around the house has been pretty hectic this past month. First off, Daddy tore his Achilles heal playing baseball; which means that Daddy can't walk. In a lot of ways, Mommy has had to take care of you by herself. Daddy tries to help as much as he can, but the only thing he can really do is hold you for a few minutes, while he sits in chair. Your Pappa Lou has also been helping us out so much. He comes a few days a week to take you to daycare and Daddy to work. While this hasn't been the most ideal situation, we're making it work.
I've also returned back to teaching, and this school year has been really tough for me. I absolutely hate being away from you so much. I'm miserable. I feel like I'm missing out on so many new experiences that you're having and I want to be a part of it all. Seeing your smiling face only 2 hours a day just doesn't seem fair to either of us. Before having you, I thought that I could be a supermom, who worked and took care of her kids equally. Now, I realize I don't want to be supermom. I just want to be a good mom to you. Doing things by yourself isn't some sort of accomplishment. I'm more proud of the fact that I have such a supportive family that I can lean on when I need them.
You've got an amazing family, Buddy, who will always be there for you. And even though it doesn't seem like I'm around as much anymore, know that there isn't one minute of the day that goes by that you're not in my heart and mind. And if you ever needed me, I'd be there for you in a second.
One way or another, I'll figure out this work-life balance. I'm certainly not the first working mom, nor will I be the last. But it still doesn't make being away from you any easier.
Love,
Your very tired Mommy.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Grandma Dot
Hunter,
Early this morning my grandma (your great-grandma) passed away. At 91 years old, she lived a long and amazing life. And while I'm so happy that she got a chance to meet you and hold you in her arms, I'm deeply saddened that you'll never have a chance to know her.
Grandma was the type of woman who immediately touched your life the minute you met her. Her heart was filled with so much joy, that you couldn't help feeling happy just by being around her. She was full of life. As she got older, she never let her age limit her. Instead, she wore it as a badge of honor for the all years she had spent surrounded by her family and friends. She was courageous, adventurous, and incredibly witty. If I'm able to become half the woman my grandma was, I will know that I have lived a life worthwhile.
My first memory of my grandma was when I was just a little kid. I had been upset about something or another and Grandma gathered me into her arms and rocked me back and forth in her chair. I remember burying my face into her turquoise, velour robe while she calmed me down. I'm not sure why that's my first memory of Grandma. But I remember how she made me feel - safe.
I, personally, considered myself luckier than the rest of my cousins because I got to live with Grandma. When I was just a baby and my mom and dad divorced, my mom came to live with Grandma. I'm not sure if it was originally meant to be long-term, but shortly afterwards, my grandfather passed away. And so I think my mom needed my grandma, as much as Grandma needed my mom.
I remember whenever we had to talk about our families in school, I would proudly state that I had two moms - my mom and my grandma. And that's how I've always considered her: my second mother. She helped raise me in every aspect. She watched me while Mom was working. She encouraged me to get involved in theater (something I loved so much, I ended up Minoring in it at college). She would drive me around to dance lessons, theater practice, violin lessons, and church. And when I was older, and trying to get my driver's license, she let me drive her around. If she was ever nervous about my driving skills, as we putted around in her little, white car, she never showed it. She believed in me. I've never doubted that for a second.
Grandma was strong in her convictions. There was no doubt that she loved God. She showed this most just by genuinely loving the people around her. She wanted all of my friends to call her Grandma Dot - and they did because she made them feel like her grandchildren as well. She loved to cook and was constantly inviting any of my friends to stay for dinner. She was always so warm and inviting. She felt like home.
And even though it seems I've now lost a bit of my home, her memory is never gone. And these memories will continue to live on - making a new home for you, me, and Daddy. So even though you may not have had a chance to know this amazing, strong woman...she will continue to be a part of all of our lives. When Grammy cooks you a delicious meal - chances are it was a recipe's of Grandma Dot's. When you want to hide your head in shame because your mother is embarrassing you - it's because I learned how to be goofy with Grandma. And as you grow up and your heart continues to be filled with love...know that a piece of Grandma Dot is inside of you as well - because she loved us all so much and taught us how to truly love.
I wish you didn't have to know the pain of losing someone you love. It never gets easier, but it's simply a part of life that we all must go through. And while I'm sad that I won't be able to see my grandmother any more, I know that she is up in heaven right now, rejoicing. Her life has always been a celebration...and now she gets to celebrate with Jesus.
Early this morning my grandma (your great-grandma) passed away. At 91 years old, she lived a long and amazing life. And while I'm so happy that she got a chance to meet you and hold you in her arms, I'm deeply saddened that you'll never have a chance to know her.
Grandma was the type of woman who immediately touched your life the minute you met her. Her heart was filled with so much joy, that you couldn't help feeling happy just by being around her. She was full of life. As she got older, she never let her age limit her. Instead, she wore it as a badge of honor for the all years she had spent surrounded by her family and friends. She was courageous, adventurous, and incredibly witty. If I'm able to become half the woman my grandma was, I will know that I have lived a life worthwhile.
My first memory of my grandma was when I was just a little kid. I had been upset about something or another and Grandma gathered me into her arms and rocked me back and forth in her chair. I remember burying my face into her turquoise, velour robe while she calmed me down. I'm not sure why that's my first memory of Grandma. But I remember how she made me feel - safe.
I, personally, considered myself luckier than the rest of my cousins because I got to live with Grandma. When I was just a baby and my mom and dad divorced, my mom came to live with Grandma. I'm not sure if it was originally meant to be long-term, but shortly afterwards, my grandfather passed away. And so I think my mom needed my grandma, as much as Grandma needed my mom.
I remember whenever we had to talk about our families in school, I would proudly state that I had two moms - my mom and my grandma. And that's how I've always considered her: my second mother. She helped raise me in every aspect. She watched me while Mom was working. She encouraged me to get involved in theater (something I loved so much, I ended up Minoring in it at college). She would drive me around to dance lessons, theater practice, violin lessons, and church. And when I was older, and trying to get my driver's license, she let me drive her around. If she was ever nervous about my driving skills, as we putted around in her little, white car, she never showed it. She believed in me. I've never doubted that for a second.
Grandma was strong in her convictions. There was no doubt that she loved God. She showed this most just by genuinely loving the people around her. She wanted all of my friends to call her Grandma Dot - and they did because she made them feel like her grandchildren as well. She loved to cook and was constantly inviting any of my friends to stay for dinner. She was always so warm and inviting. She felt like home.
And even though it seems I've now lost a bit of my home, her memory is never gone. And these memories will continue to live on - making a new home for you, me, and Daddy. So even though you may not have had a chance to know this amazing, strong woman...she will continue to be a part of all of our lives. When Grammy cooks you a delicious meal - chances are it was a recipe's of Grandma Dot's. When you want to hide your head in shame because your mother is embarrassing you - it's because I learned how to be goofy with Grandma. And as you grow up and your heart continues to be filled with love...know that a piece of Grandma Dot is inside of you as well - because she loved us all so much and taught us how to truly love.
I wish you didn't have to know the pain of losing someone you love. It never gets easier, but it's simply a part of life that we all must go through. And while I'm sad that I won't be able to see my grandmother any more, I know that she is up in heaven right now, rejoicing. Her life has always been a celebration...and now she gets to celebrate with Jesus.
For
if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord.
So
then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s.
Romans 14:8
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